Thursday, June 13, 2013

If Only

I listened to a really good podcast the other morning that my dad preached this past Sunday. And I'm not just saying it's really good just because it's my dad. It really was very good, and something I needed to hear.

You can check it out on the church's website or download the podcast "Simple Not Easy: Finding Joy in the Daily Grind" on iTunes.  

After listening to this, I came to the realization that I live too much in the realm of "if only" and not enough in the present of "what is". 

If only Eli would sleep more than 45 minutes so I can _________(fill in the blank--do laundry, do dishes, work out, clean the house, blog etc.)

If only Eli would play on his own for more than 10 minutes so I can_________ (fill in the blank--make coffee, write an email, go to the bathroom, take a shower in peace.) 

If only Eli would sit still so I can eat a meal without having to scarf it down or intercept his hands from grabbing anything and everything around him. 

If only he would sleep through the night.

These are just a few that came to mind. Certainly there are many more, most of which don't pertain to my son, but these are the ones that seem to plague me on a daily basis. If only, if only, if only... I'm a little embarrassed as I type them out because they seem silly and petty, and they reveal to me a lack of gratitude more than anything. 

Yuck, don't you just hate when the ugliness of your heart stares you in the face?? My prayer lately has been that God would dig up the roots that have taken place in me that don't need to be there, and well, I guess He's doing just that. 

I am committing to doing away with "if only" and being thankful for and cherishing "what is". 

I am thankful that Eli does take a nap, however long it is, so I can at least get a few moments to get things done around the house. 

I am thankful that Eli loves being near me and that he wants to play with me all day long. I am very aware that there may come a day in about 13 years or so when I will want him to want to hang out with me and he may very well not want to.

I am thankful that I have the time and flexibility to be able to give so much of myself and my day to him.

I am thankful for his fun and playful personality, and for his curiosity to explore the world around him, even if it means he doesn't sit still. 

I am thankful that he finds comfort in the arms of his mama even if it is at 4 in the morning.

What are some of your "if onlys"? How can you reframe the lens through which you look to reflect an appreciation for what is rather than what you wish would be? 

No real conclusion here today, just wanted to share what God's been working in my heart....

"Rejoice always, pray continuously, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for your in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


Risha said... Best Blogger Tips

"If only my baby... my toddler (now 15-months-old) would sleep through the night!" has been me, too, but yet, I know it will happen consistently someday, and that it doesn't really matter, as long as I'm parenting in the way I feel is best. (I want to avoid long periods of cry-it-out.) I have a new laptop so had lost all of my "favorites" and haven't been reading blogs, but now I'm going to start again, and I'm so glad to read yours, Cara. You always make me think... and appreciate life's beauty and blessings. Please keep blogging :-)

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