Yesterday was one of those days.
Yesterday I reflected on last Mother's Day, which we were blessed to spend with my beautiful, amazing Mom here, in our home, in Germany.
And that brought me full circle to the original memory that had sparked my reflection that morning: the loss of our baby, which was exactly one year ago from yesterday, May 13.
As I thought about the two extremes, the joy of my mom getting to celebrate Mother's Day and the wonderful blessing of what it means to be a mother with her oldest daughter, who would soon be given (or so we thought) that same gift just a few months from then, contrasted with Luis and I sitting in the hospital that following Friday, Friday the 13th, just 5 days after Mother's Day and 3 days after my mom flew back home, as we waited for a second ultrasound to confirm what my body and my doctor were already telling me: the baby was no longer living, I couldn't help but take note of the irony of it all; of Mother's Day falling on the exact date when I discovered being a mother would have to wait.
And so I sat there yesterday, reflecting on all that has taken place this past year, on how the Lord has worked in our hearts through some very difficult situations, how He's changed us and continues to grow and stretch us through a season of unknowns and uncertainties, and yet through all the trials of this past year, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by God's goodness and faithfulness and especially His love each step of the way.
I also couldn't help but be amazed at how the Lord renews and restores. Amidst my tangle of thoughts yesterday, I kept coming back to the new little life that is growing inside of me and what it will be like to be his or her mother.
God has blessed (and surprised! ha) us with another pregnancy, one that is further along (18 weeks) than the first one and very stable. The baby has been squirming around every time we have seen it on the ultrasound and in the words of our doctor is "lebendig" or "lively" which is encouraging, but also makes me think: we may have our work cut out for us!
We are very excited and filled with joy over the miracle God is working in me to create and grow this baby who will be making his or her way into this world mid-October.
Thank you everyone for your prayers and support of us over this last year! We could not be more grateful for all the ways in which you have encouraged and loved us through hard times and good ones too.
Happy (late) Mother's Day to all you Mamas out there and have a great week everyone!