Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Holy Rice You Stink

Here is a very important tip for you all today.  

When you put rice in a cooker to soak for dinner that night, and your husband decides that actually he would prefer pasta, so you let the rice continue to soak overnight thinking you will cook it the next day and then something comes up and you don't cook it, and then somehow it becomes part of the counter clutter and you sort of forget it's there till you go to make the coffee 2 days later and you check on it, give it a little sniff and wonder "Just how long can rice soak?"

You know you won't be eating rice that night because you made lasagna the night before per your husband's request and your husband looooves lasagna and would not even think of eating anything else when there are lasagna leftovers in the house.  Oh how I love the blessed lasagna for giving me a few days off in the kitchen!

The rice doesn't smell so you let it sit just one more day until you finally think "Okay, enough silly business, this rice has got to cook."  It looked okay and so you turn the rice cooker on and you go about your housewifey activities and then all of a sudden you smell something.  Something not at all like Jasmine rice.  

You sniff yourself thinking perhaps the smell is originating from you.  Your husband sniffs himself thinking the same thing.  You don't have any of these puppies running around so you can't just assume it's them.  Miss my girls.

You wander towards the kitchen where suddenly the smell is noticeably more sickening and you see the rice cooker, bubbling away, doing its rice cooker thing and then you realize that it is, in fact, the source of such nauseating stench and you suddenly have an answer to your original question "Rice cannot soak for 3 days."  

It smelled like vomit.  Not even joking.  It made me gag.  At least 5 times.  The only other smell I distinctly remember being so bad were these Orangutans right here.

The orangutans left my ten-year-old self holding my breath throughout the entire picture taking process.  Hence the awkward look on my face.    

The rice left my twenty-five-year-old self sniffing myself the rest of the day, convinced the smell had somehow invaded my body.  I smelled it everywhere I went.  

I wanted to shower.  Every 10 minutes.  I wanted to open every window and door in our flat no matter how cold it was outside.  I was suddenly inspired to deep clean every square meter, floor to ceiling.  I wanted the stench gone and yet somehow it just continued to linger.  I don't think I will be able to eat rice again for at least a month.  

This was a scarring experience.

Oh my Korean in-laws would be so ashamed. 

While wearing that dress may have helped this white girl "fit in" a bit, this rice cooking experience confirmed that, no matter how hard I try, I am, and will forever be a white girl.    

Cooking rice is the one area of my culinary ability, I have been told by my half-Asian husband, that I could improve a bit.  

Although, in my defense, more often than not, I cook with brown rice, which is much different than the traditional sticky rice he is used to, so naturally he might think my rice just isn't quite like Mama makes it.  I'm just sayin'... 

Mama-in-law did teach me how to make sticky rice when she was here last year and I noticed significant improvement in my rice cooking abilities thereafter.  Until this experience of course.  Who knew rice could smell so incredibly bad.    

Someday, in the distant future, when the thought of cooking rice no longer makes my stomach churn, I will share with you the art of delicious Korean sticky rice. Until then, check out this week's recipe for a different sort of healthy grain that will make your house smell so ridiculously good, the entire neighborhood will be stopping by for a whiff.  No lie.  

I hope you like your neighbors. If not, you may want to consider moving cause you want need this granola and it's delicious aromas in your life.  Yeah, it's that good.


Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips


I just spent two days reading all of you blogs! (obviously I am a little behind) I will also admit that I did my reading while at work, OOPS :) You are such a wonderful blogger, and it makes me want to do the same!! (although I am not sure who would want to read that!!) I miss you and think of you often. I will also stay up to date on your blog from now on! Love you!


Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

Cara, I will expand your 3 day theory with my 27+ years of marriage experience and say that anything left on the counter 3 days in standing in tap water is definitely going to be putred. Sorry I didn't share this early so you could have avoided the stink :-( Love M.

Unknown said... Best Blogger Tips

Hahahahaha I just went through that same experience, except that in my case I compare the smell to that of my dogs' fresh turds in the summer (may they rest in peace - the dogs, not their feces). I laughed like mad because I also gagged at least 5-6 times. I opened the windows and doors and sprayed air freshener and perfume and still stinks. Mind you, I HAVE A COLD, and if it stinks even through my stuffy nose God forbid I experience that same stench in its splendor. Great article!

Post a Comment