Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The SKYs the Limit

Two weekends ago were NFL Playoff games.  Two weekends ago SKY Satellite TV was having a sale.  Two weekends ago my husband put two and two together and decided we should take advantage such a discount in order to watch said NFL Playoff games.

I of course was not oppose to this idea.  Was it because I am a die hard football fan?  No, that would be my mother.  And my father of course, but he's a guy, that's a given.  

Aren't they adorable in their matching Kurt Warner jerseys?

Was it because I couldn't stand the idea of going an ENTIRE football season without seeing one single game?  Definitely not.

So why wasn't I opposed to this idea?  Because getting SKY also meant I would no longer have to go to Nanu's to watch Luis' away games.  

Nanu's is a strange little pub bar thing in our village with strange people who go to watch the KSC games but really they just end up playing these annoying slot machines that make obnoxious noises the entire time.

Nanu's was chosen strictly for its location and most definitely not at all for its atmosphere, cleanliness, or friendly service.

Needless to say I was thrilled to sit on my comfy couch, in my comfy sweats, in the comfort of my own home this past Saturday as I watched my man in HD. 

 My guy on the job.

haha he might not like me sharing that shot of him with you, but I found it to be quite entertaining.

And besides, you could just google him like I did and pull it up yourself so I'm just saving you the extra step.

Oh, but wait, that's an old pic, with his old team.  Oops. Maybe we should use this one instead.  He looks a bit happier.

Love that guy.  

Okay, so let's back up to where I got sidetracked, to two weekends ago when NFL Playoff games were on and SKY had their deal.  On this particular weekend, Saturday to be exact since nothing is open on Sundays, we went to the local electronic store to get us some SKY.  

We were there at least an hour decoding every little German word written in that SKY flyer making sure there was no "catch" or hidden costs that would come back to bite us.  I mean we read that thing over and over and over. We had the guy explain it to us in German.  Even found someone to clarify in English.  We used one of our lifelines and phoned a friend.  

For some reason we were convinced Germany was gonna take advantage of our childlike vocabulary and scam us someway, somehow.  We're paranoid I know, but when you're making deals and signing contracts in foreign languages, you learn to be paranoid.  Especially when signing a contract in Germany.  They take their contracts VERY seriously. 

After much deliberation, we concluded we were safe.  Unfortunately, we didn't have our passports, a key ingredient to signing a contract apparently.  So we drove home.  Luis dropped me off (I was over it) and hurried back with his passport before they closed at 8:00.  

He came home, box in hand, hooked it up, and TADA! Nothin'.  No TV.  Just a screen with a bunch of German words of which the key ones were "nicht verfügbar" aka "not available".  

We got on the phone with a lady in the SKY customer service department.  She had us move a bunch of wires and stuff but it was still nicht verfügbar.  She told us there had to be something wrong with the house satellite and that we should get our landlord to check it out.  

Our landlord sent over his electrician the next day while Luis was at training.  This guy installed the dish and was a bit overly confident in his installation abilities I think because: 

1. He never checked the dish and

2. He too moved some wires around, to no avail, and concluded the problem was definitely not with his installation abilities, which of course he never checked, but with our receiver box.

He told me our receiver box didn't have the right technology, that it was 1.0 when it needed to be 1.2, whatever that means.  

I asked how that was possible since there were only two kinds of receiver even available to purchase, HD or not HD, so how could it be that our house had technology that SKY hadn't already built into their receivers.  Logical right? 

No, no, no I was wrong according to him because he kept insisting I take the box back and ask for this special Diseq thing.  He kept saying "Diseq" "Diseq" "Diseq" and when I was hearing it I had no idea what he was saying so I asked him to write it down. He rolled his eyes a bit and grabbed the paper and pen from my hand.  Jerk.  

Luis took the box back to the store and was faced with "What are you doing?!?! You can't bring that back!" Luis: "Yes, but..." Clerk: "No, you can't bring that back!" Luis: "Yes, but there's a problem. We..." Clerk: "You can't bring that back!!!"

Helpful hint: Unlike in America, the customer is never right.  And customer service is not a priority. haha definitely makes for some fun shopping experiences!

Luis somehow managed to finally explain the situation and the guy of course had no idea what Diseq 1.2 was.  He said there was no other kind of receiver available.  Isn't that interesting Mr. Electrician Guy?

Our next solution was to try it at our landlord's next door.  They have the same kind of satellite, so if it worked there, then we knew it wasn't our receiver box that was the problem.  It worked of course.  Hmmm...still a problem with our receiver Mr. Electrician Guy?

Mr. Electrician Guy was called again, however, he requested that my husband be home this time.  Seriously?  I was so polite to this guy.  I explained the situation, in German, pretty darn well if you ask me. Yes, I had to ask him to write something down but give me a break, we were dealing with technological terms, an already limited field of knowledge for me, in German. I even offered him water.  What is this guy's deal?

You can only imagine the thoughts that went through my head when I heard that he requested my huuusband be there this time.  Not good thoughts in my head at all. Lord forgive me.  

Electrician Guy came again.  Played with the wires.  Sat on the couch like a bum playing with the remote.  Nothing happened.  At this point, you would think that he might possibly consider checking his own work, right?  Nope, he kept telling us our box was wrong.

Fortunately our landlady was also here this time and she said to him very sternly "No, no, no.  It's not the box.  It worked at our house so it has to be a problem with the dish.  Go check the wires in the basement." 

She commands a little more respect I guess since she has the checkbook.  Which technically checkbooks don't exist in Germany, but you get the idea.

He went downstairs, checked the wires, came back up, turned on the tv, and guess what? It worked.  He had two wires mixed up.  So I guess I'm not such a dummy after all, huh Mr. Electrician Guy? 

Fast forward, before I lose you in this novel of a story, to this past weekend of the NFL Playoffs...on Sunday we turned on ESPN America to watch the Packers-Bears game and lo and behold, Spanish?!?!  haha that could only happen to us. 

Surely ESPN America isn't broadcast in Spanish?  It's not, fortunately.  It was a problem with ESPN and they resolved it within a few minutes but you can only imagine the looks on our faces and the laughter when we first heard those Spanish announcers. 

It's situations like these that make me wonder why we even bothered getting tv in the first place because our life is clearly entertainment enough!    


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